Sunday, November 9, 2014

Social Media: A Love Letter

I hear lots of complaints about social media.  We are too connected.  We are all dependent upon our gadgets and over-share our lives.  We are missing the world around us.  We are disengaging from reality.  And this might be true for some people.  I too feel there are times when it’s just a little much and want to disconnect.  But let me take a moment to explain what social media has given me.

Recently a friend from back home left Facebook unexpectedly.  I discovered it when I tried to send her a message lamenting my sudden feeling of homesickness.  I had a dream the night before about being on the East Coast with all of my favorite people, eating crab cakes and hush puppies.  I woke up to my typical weekday routine of rushing around getting kids ready for school while my husband disappeared to work.  I pulled up my Facebook only to discover she was not there, causing a moment of distress so intense I started to cry.  It was the same despair I felt when I lost my photo album full of my childhood pictures.  Now, just so you know, I have her email and phone number so it’s not like she was lost to me forever and I am a cry baby.  I contacted her almost immediately to find out if she was ok and continued our conversation like nothing had changed (I can’t quit you!).  But in that exact moment I was overcome with sadness.  I was heartbroken.  It wasn’t until later in the day when I finally figured out why I was so upset.

I am the product of many moves around the country and now the world.  I have lived in New York, Alaska, California, Hawaii, Maryland, South Carolina and Japan.  I have loved ones in all of those places plus many, many more.  I love the life I have been fortunate enough to live.  But creating and fostering relationships only to have to leave them every three to four years is hard.  It’s only now that I have social media I can still feel connected to all of the wonderful people I have known in my life.  Losing one of them, even if I didn’t really lose her, reminded me of what it feels like to have to sever ties with my support network just to have to create a new one.  I discovered how truly dependent I am on social media to connect me to my family and friends.  I’m not on Facebook 24/7.  I don’t feel like it takes the place of real relationships and I make sure to enjoy my kids (well, most of the time; a mamma needs to disconnect from them too sometimes).  Social media has given me a connection to my past.  I have found people who I loved and lost due to distance and time.  What’s better is I even still like most of them.

So, here’s my love letter to social media.  Thank you, Facebook, for letting me watch my single friends celebrate their lives in fun crazy ways.  Thank you for allowing me the chance to experience  my nieces and nephews growing up even though I’m far away.  Thank you for showing me what’s happening in everyone’s daily lives.  Thank you for helping me plan parties and trash talk trashy T.V. and take silly quizzes about what sort of cookie I am (snickerdoodle) and share the moments of my life too.  Thank you for making me feel a little less far away.