A Star is Born...Well, sort of...

For those of you who don’t know, I once planned on being a famous actress. I was confident in my skills as a triple threat, a feeling encouraged by my parents. I even attended a performing arts school for a year after high school. But life happened and, partially because of the school, my confidence dwindled and my love for theater changed. Don’t get me wrong, I still LOVED being on stage, I just wasn’t sure it was the right career for me. Plus I became serious with a certain military man, and wanted to be with him more than I wanted to see my name in lights. While my focus shifted, my feelings never did; not really anyway. I don’t regret giving it up, but I do still enjoy being silly on stage. And every so often if the opportunity presents itself, I get up the nerve to audition for something.

High school performance. Dig the pants!

Up until this last Tuesday, it had been 6 years since I had performed in front of anyone other than singing to my kids. Not even karaoke. And I love karaoke. And then I saw the audition information for an upcoming play with the base community theater. All day before I went I must have gone back and forth about going at least 50 times. I was nervous and have to live with these people for the next few years. What if they judged me? What if they laughed at me? Usually I’m ok with looking silly (frankly, it happens often). Putting yourself up to be rated and judged is an intimidating experience. But the opportunity presented itself so I put on my big girl panties and went to the audition.

REALLY old head shot.

It was a small room with only about 6 other auditioner’s with the director and assistant director sitting at the head table. I had prepared myself for a reading and was emotionally ready to go. We read a few pages as a group and I started to feel confident. I even got a compliment on my New York accent. I was feeling good, at least until they said it was time for the improv portion of the evening.

My NYC apartment. About two feet wider than the picture shows.

Improv??? I think I’m clever but having to be clever on the spot is not my idea of a good time. There was a reason I avoided improve classes. I sucked at them. Once again I had to gather my courage to get up in front of this small group of strangers and think of funny things on the spot. And then is started to be fun. These were not the same sort of people I went to school with in New York. Those people could be judgmental and critical. This group was welcoming and friendly and felt like they were in the same boat as me. My final test was to sing a song. Once again I haven’t sung in public in years and when I get nervous my throat closes up. I picked the only song I could think of: the theme song to The Cleveland Show. I started to sing watching the group sit in front of m, the assistant director videotaping for later review. I was waiting for my throat to close, for the sound to get strangled but it didn’t happen. I forgot to breathe once or twice but I sounded ok.

It turns out I was offered a part! I’m glad I faced my fear and can’t wait until I get to perform again.

Last time I performed on stage. Loved the costume!