First Day of School and the Cry Baby Mamma

Today was the first day of pre-school for my 3 year old son. We have been thinking about sending Little Man for a while but before we moved here we assumed he wouldn’t really be able to go until he was 4 or 5 years old. When we arrived we learned about several options for international schools off base. So the discussion became more urgent while we considered when he would start and where he would go.

Most Japanese schools start in April and run year round, but the one we had been considering contacted us saying there was an opening starting in January (3^rd term in Japan). Little Man has been asking to go to school for a while and even potty trained using it as an incentive. It seemed like this was the time to enter this new chapter of his life.

We drove to the school about two weeks ago to get a feel for it and make the final decision. Before entering the classroom Little Man said he was a bit nervous about going in. I reminded him that this was the time to be brave. With that, the four of us removed our shoes and entered his new classroom. Just as we thought, Little Man, and Baby Girl for that matter, quickly made themselves at home. It was the perfect fit.

One of his supplies was an emergency hood along with indoor slipper shoes. 

It wasn’t until that evening when it started to sink in that I will miss him during the day. He’ll only be going 4 days a week but since I left work we have spent very little time apart. These are selfish feelings but ones I have a hard time letting go of. Clearly I want to do what is best for my children, and this feels like the right choice. Little Man gets to spend time learning in a structured classroom, something he has wanted for a while. And I get to spend more one-on-one time with Baby Girl, something I’ve never been able to do. But letting go of my sadness has been hard. Today it was it was Little Man, but soon it will be Baby Girl leaving me. This is the first real step of having to let go of my children and allow them to have lives independent of me.

 Last night as we tucked him in to bed he started to cry. He said he was afraid no one would talk to him and wanted his old best friend to go with him. It took another 2 hours for him to settle in and finally drift off. I was thankful for the darkness in his room; it shielded my tears from him. Even my husband was moved by his pleas to stay home with me. And then like nothing happened he woke up this morning excited to start the day. Our whole family dropped him off. Little Man could barely contain himself when he entered the room and disappeared into a box of dinosaurs barely noticing us leave. At pick up he told me all about his wonderful day while finishing his leftover lunch.

Walking with daddy to the classroom. At least I waited until after drop-off to cry. 

I can’t tell you how thankful I am that Little Man enjoyed his day. Hopefully his love of school continues for at least a few more years. But I am still a little sad for myself. These feelings will go away. My inner control freak will let go at some point. Probably after I’ve shed just a few more tears. I am reminding myself this is the time to be brave, or at least pretend to be. 

Who knew time would pass so quickly. 

The Year of Saying YES!

As with every year, there are two groups of people I come across: those who do make resolutions and those who don’t. I belong to the one that does make resolutions. And just like every year, one of mine is to try and lose weight. But more importantly, is my second resolution. My husband and I are trying to do a joint resolution that has worked for us in the past. We have decided to try and make this a “yes” year. Let me explain.

Ever watch Yes Man? It’s a silly movie based on a book of the same title in which the main character is *spoiler alert* hypnotized into saying yes to everything that comes along. Without being hypnotized we are going to try and do something similar. Last year meant a lot of changes for us. We had issues with taxes concerning our daughter’s adoption, multiple issues with passports not to mention a move to the other side of the planet. There was a lot of pressure to pay bills and do what was responsible rather than do what is fun. This is our M.O. We are constantly choosing the grown up choice. This isn’t always a bad thing, but it can get in the way of living life. For example, my mom and I were once talking about what we would do with an extra $10,000. My mom chose travel and I chose pay on my student loan (it wouldn’t have even paid it off). It didn’t even occur to me that there was another option.

I love new experiences but will almost always choose what is good for others (ie-my husband and kids) before I choose what is good for me. In fact, both my husband and I do this. I am often afraid that when I do something for me I am taking something away from them. This is why having a yes year is so important especially since, at least for the foreseeable future, life is going to be relatively predictable. The move is over, we have paid off our only car payment and the kids are settled into a routine. The student loan is still there, but hopefully will be gone soon and isn’t hurting us at all.

The last time we did the year of yes was after life had become at least a little normal following Little Man’s finalization (the last step in his legal adoption) and ended with saying yes to a sweet four week old baby girl needing a mommy and daddy. It was a great time filled with fun and excitement. We didn’t do anything extravagant; most of the time it was saying yes to parties or new restaurant. It wasn’t about that; it was about actively participating in life.

Having a grand old time.

This year, saying yes will be about embracing our new home and doing whatever we can to enjoy the adventure of it all. We started it on New Year’s Eve by saying yes to a party here on base. We hated it. We left before midnight when the staff took the best part of the event (the food) away. Before going home, we went to the convenience store off base to gather yummy Japanese treats. The hubby and I had more fun there in 20 minutes of goofing off than we did for two hours in a ballroom. Even though it seemed like the night was a bust, I ended up enjoying my sofa, snacks, pj’s  and husband far more than I did sitting at a table with strangers who were also bored. 

Chillin' with my man on NYE. Much better!

The next day we said yes to participating in a Japanese tradition called the Lucky Bag (a bag full of mystery items that local stores sell full of goodies at deep discounts). Each of the kids got one; Little Man ended up with Toy Story toys and Baby Girl got a Minnie back pack with a pillow and art supplies. It was fun to join in this unfamiliar tradition. The moral of the story? Saying yes doesn’t always pan out but it’s better to find out the party sucks than to opt out of trying something new.

Lucky Bags; my new favorite tradition

This brings me back to my first resolution (see how I did that? Thought I forgot about that one didn’t ‘ya?). I want to say yes to my health. I want to say yes to feeling good about my body and having energy without feeling like time working out is time taken away from my children. Look, I may end up weighing the same next December as I do now, although I hope not. I’m no fool. But saying yes isn’t always about the end result, it’s about the journey. I would rather try and fail then never try.  

So, whether you are the type to set a resolution or the type who doesn’t, I wish you nothing but the best in 2014. And I hope you try saying yes once in a while.